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Friday, April 03, 2026
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

    Police called to Perth Maccas after man explains his 5 Fillet-O-Fish order has nothing to do with Good Friday

    A Perth McDonalds has been left scrambling for answers today after a man boldly entered the store and ordered 5 Fillet-O-Fish burgers without even a…

    Belle April 3, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

    Local Seagulls Thank Catholic Guilt As They Prepare For Their Biggest Day Of The Year

    Good Friday is the official seagull grand final with over 500% more fish & chip munching families to terrorise in their endless pursuit for a…

    Belle April 3, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Lifestyle

    Local mum reconsiders catholic guilt as cost-of-living means ol mate Cap’n Birds Eye is coming for lunch

    Local mum Patricia has seriously questioned her annual display of faith after realising that the weekend budget doesn’t allow for the frills of bougie fish…

    Belle April 3, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Politics

    WA to Invoke Emergency Powers to Divert Froffs to Those Who Forgot to Stock Up Before Good Friday

    Roger Cook has called a special press conference to announce WA will be invoking emergency powers to stop the indignity of the Good Friday booze…

    Belle April 2, 2026
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    NASA Reveals Artemis Program Aims to Establish New Perth Suburb on Moon

    Plans for the latest Perth suburb in the ever-expansive sprawl have moved one step closer after the successful launch of the Orion as part of…

    Belle April 2, 2026
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Featured Travellers

The Spiritual Backpacker

Belle March 22, 2022

Kelly drifts off into a daydream after a heavy session of DMT. She sees a man clutching his chest on a plane. A distressed passenger…

View More The Spiritual Backpacker
From the Zoo Featured

IN FOCUS: the art of insincerely wishing your BFF happy birthday on social media

Belle March 21, 2022

To have a happy birthday you must first accept that the day has absolutely nothing to do with you or you achievement in beating all…

View More IN FOCUS: the art of insincerely wishing your BFF happy birthday on social media
From the Zoo

IN FOCUS: The Festering Resentment Caused By Work Footy Tipping

Belle March 21, 2022

Like so many other “workplace bonding” exercises, footy tipping is meant to bring everyone together. Thankfully, human nature steps in and destroys any chance of…

View More IN FOCUS: The Festering Resentment Caused By Work Footy Tipping
BREAKING NEWS Featured

BREAKING: Looking Like A Good Morning To Avoid A Freo Supporter Tomorrow

Belle March 20, 2022

West Coast fans are advised to exercise extreme caution tomorrow as the levels of schadenfreude being emitted by Docker’s supporters may be too much to…

View More BREAKING: Looking Like A Good Morning To Avoid A Freo Supporter Tomorrow
BREAKING NEWS Featured

Clive Palmer Claims Responsibility For Queensland Act of Aggression in Westralian Waters

Belle March 20, 2022

In extraordinary scenes, serial pest Clive Palmer has attempted to claim responsibility for dressing beloved Eliza up in Gold Coast Sun’s gear last night to…

View More Clive Palmer Claims Responsibility For Queensland Act of Aggression in Westralian Waters
From the Zoo Featured

IN FOCUS: Going On A Cruise Ship

Belle March 19, 2022

At the start of the pandemic, cruises did their best to bring about the destruction of everything we hold dear. It’s now a couple of…

View More IN FOCUS: Going On A Cruise Ship

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Police called to Perth Maccas after man explains his 5 Fillet-O-Fish order has nothing to do with Good Friday
  • Local Seagulls Thank Catholic Guilt As They Prepare For Their Biggest Day Of The Year
  • Local mum reconsiders catholic guilt as cost-of-living means ol mate Cap’n Birds Eye is coming for lunch
  • WA to Invoke Emergency Powers to Divert Froffs to Those Who Forgot to Stock Up Before Good Friday
  • NASA Reveals Artemis Program Aims to Establish New Perth Suburb on Moon
  • Albanese Expected to Remind Nation West Coast Are Back in Tonight’s Address

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