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The Bell Tower Times

The Bell Tower Times

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Friday, October 31, 2025
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS

    Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you

    The Royal Family has sent a clear message to its loyal subjects that a Royal being reduced to a filthy, shiteating member of the public…

    Belle October 31, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween

    A young family has caused a stir today after previewing their kid’s Halloween costume on social media. To the horror of traditionally older or rural…

    Belle October 31, 2025
    View More
  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99

    Metallica fans are preparing for a big night this weekend. However, the band has said the concert is only a secondary objective. Their real objective…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

    James Blunt heard loudly claiming The Ashes on the Yanchep Line 

    James Blunt is in town for a concert tonight but wasted no time getting involved in the main recreational activity of his people.  Thus, the…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Little shop selling expensive American snacks & stuff mysteriously pops up in Hakea after 2026 smoking ban announced

    Authorities are suspicious of a little shop that mysteriously popped up in Hakea prison ahead of the 2026 smoking ban.  Prison officers have said the…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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From the Zoo

IN FOCUS: Holden Barina

Belle March 29, 2020

Apparently, “Barina” is an indigenous word for summit. Which is ironic given these bad boys are nowhere near the peak of any metric of success.…

View More IN FOCUS: Holden Barina
Perth & WA Locations

Mr Victoria Park

Belle March 29, 2020 Crimeprofessional

“Come for the food and stay because some Oxy fiend stuck you with his syringe” – a phrase that should be printed on a billboard…

View More Mr Victoria Park
Reckons

What your choice of Mr Whippy cone says about you

Belle March 28, 2020

There is an unlikely champion emerging out of the sickly rubble of COVID-19 society – the humble soft serve van. It’s an agile urban commando…

View More What your choice of Mr Whippy cone says about you
From the Zoo

IN FOCUS: Chicken Parmigiana

Belle March 27, 2020 Food

Early Italian immigrants placed the seed of their al dente cuisine in us and since then we’ve raised it like it was a red-headed stepchild. …

View More IN FOCUS: Chicken Parmigiana
Travellers

Mr “I Went to Berlin”

Belle March 25, 2020

When Joel left Perth he was merely a drop in the obnoxious ocean, but visiting Berlin for a whole month had a catastrophic cunter-fly effect,…

View More Mr “I Went to Berlin”
From the Zoo

IN FOCUS: Jiffy Food Vans

Belle March 25, 2020

Colonic health experts hated them! Because Jiffy food vans cleared Perth’s bowels without the need for an expensive appointment. From 1972 – 2017, there was…

View More IN FOCUS: Jiffy Food Vans

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you
  • Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween
  • Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99
  • James Blunt heard loudly claiming The Ashes on the Yanchep Line 
  • Little shop selling expensive American snacks & stuff mysteriously pops up in Hakea after 2026 smoking ban announced
  • AFL vows to not rest until it has alienated every single fan with needless rule changes 

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  • Perth Driver Accused Of Being A Witch After Failing To Slam Brakes Upon Entering Tunnel
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  • Crack team of Pilbara miners sent to UK to assure them their heatwave was nothing 
  • Moving down train carriage far too similar to merging for Perth to feel comfortable attempting
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