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The Bell Tower Times

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Saturday, November 01, 2025
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS

    Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you

    The Royal Family has sent a clear message to its loyal subjects that a Royal being reduced to a filthy, shiteating member of the public…

    Belle October 31, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween

    A young family has caused a stir today after previewing their kid’s Halloween costume on social media. To the horror of traditionally older or rural…

    Belle October 31, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99

    Metallica fans are preparing for a big night this weekend. However, the band has said the concert is only a secondary objective. Their real objective…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

    James Blunt heard loudly claiming The Ashes on the Yanchep Line 

    James Blunt is in town for a concert tonight but wasted no time getting involved in the main recreational activity of his people.  Thus, the…

    Belle October 30, 2025
    View More
  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Little shop selling expensive American snacks & stuff mysteriously pops up in Hakea after 2026 smoking ban announced

    Authorities are suspicious of a little shop that mysteriously popped up in Hakea prison ahead of the 2026 smoking ban.  Prison officers have said the…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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Health & Medicine

Ms “I’m Not Social Distancing”

Belle March 22, 2020

Sure, the advice is that many people will die if we don’t flatten the Corona curve, but Maree will literally die if she doesn’t go to the crowded Cott…

View More Ms “I’m Not Social Distancing”
Lifestyle, Love & Parenting

Ms “I’m Living my Best Life”

Belle March 20, 2020 HealthInstagramLifestyleNew Age

3 months ago Alice was a meatball sub of saturated slop, and like Jared Fogle it was the minor things getting her in strife. Booze,…

View More Ms “I’m Living my Best Life”
From the Zoo

IN FOCUS: Giving Medical Advice on Social Media

Belle March 20, 2020

Pandemics can be a frustrating time for armchair-immunologists. All these so-called “doctors” and “health professionals” swinging their Ph-Dicks around the place. As it happens, they…

View More IN FOCUS: Giving Medical Advice on Social Media
Internet Culture Health & Medicine

The Social Media Nutritionist

Belle March 19, 2020 FoodHealthInstagramPseudo Science

Liz’s rise to influencer fame has been rocky at best. Initially, she tried to plug beauty regimes, but nobody cared about her when she put…

View More The Social Media Nutritionist
WA Culture & Notable Events

Mr Costco Grand Opening

Belle March 19, 2020

Yo; his face is sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy; there’s vomit in his ventilator already, hoarded spaghetti… On the surface, he’s not calm and…

View More Mr Costco Grand Opening
Sports, Auto & Hobbies

Mr CrossFit

Belle March 13, 2020

Craig awakens to Eye of the Tiger blaring from his phone: the song of a god damn champion. He springs out of bed like he’d…

View More Mr CrossFit

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you
  • Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween
  • Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99
  • James Blunt heard loudly claiming The Ashes on the Yanchep Line 
  • Little shop selling expensive American snacks & stuff mysteriously pops up in Hakea after 2026 smoking ban announced
  • AFL vows to not rest until it has alienated every single fan with needless rule changes 

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  • Perth Driver Accused Of Being A Witch After Failing To Slam Brakes Upon Entering Tunnel
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  • Moving down train carriage far too similar to merging for Perth to feel comfortable attempting
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