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The Bell Tower Times

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Sunday, November 02, 2025
The Bell Tower Times
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Piss-test fail warning given to anyone within a kilometre radius of the Metallica pit 

    Authorities have put out an alert that it is highly likely you may fail a piss-test tomorrow if you were within a kilometre of the…

    Belle November 2, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS

    Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you

    The Royal Family has sent a clear message to its loyal subjects that a Royal being reduced to a filthy, shiteating member of the public…

    Belle October 31, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

    Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween

    A young family has caused a stir today after previewing their kid’s Halloween costume on social media. To the horror of traditionally older or rural…

    Belle October 31, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Entertainment

    Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99

    Metallica fans are preparing for a big night this weekend. However, the band has said the concert is only a secondary objective. Their real objective…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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  • Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

    James Blunt heard loudly claiming The Ashes on the Yanchep Line 

    James Blunt is in town for a concert tonight but wasted no time getting involved in the main recreational activity of his people.  Thus, the…

    Belle October 30, 2025
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Health, Well Being, Parenting

A Guide to the Bonds Baby Search

Belle March 17, 2018 Mummy

1. Why enter? Thousands of full-time mummies enter their bubs into this infantile “hot or not” competition in the hope they will be able to…

View More A Guide to the Bonds Baby Search
WA Culture & Notable Events

Ms Perth Night Noodle Markets

Belle March 16, 2018 FoodInstagramMajor Event

You don’t stay at 5-star resorts in over 2 Asian countries without picking up a little something about Asian cuisine, sweetie. In fact, Vanessa’s culinary…

View More Ms Perth Night Noodle Markets
Lifestyle, Love & Parenting

Ms Fur Babies

Belle March 14, 2018 PetsRelationships

After completing 3 months of “adulting” Grace takes the plunge and becomes a “fur-mother” – a far easier option than trying to find a mate…

View More Ms Fur Babies
Work & Study

The P.E Teacher

Belle February 22, 2018 employmentsports

Luke graduated from Notre Dame with a degree that was about as in demand as a babysitting priest. Being gifted with Western Suburbs genetics he…

View More The P.E Teacher
WA Culture & Notable Events

Ms Coffee Snob

Belle February 15, 2018 Foodoffice

After just one short week in Melbourne, Simone can’t stop flicking her coffee bean of pretentiousness in public. It’s the only way you heathens are…

View More Ms Coffee Snob
Work & Study

Ms Street Charity Worker

Belle February 8, 2018 BackpackerCharityemployment

At some stage, every English citizen realises their island is so miserable that Peter Dutton might try to send someone there. So they flock to…

View More Ms Street Charity Worker

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TRENDING NEWS

  • Piss-test fail warning given to anyone within a kilometre radius of the Metallica pit 
  • Royal Family tells loyal subjects that the most horrific punishment they could think of for Andrew was making him one of you
  • Boomers warned as Perth kid plans to dress as a Daylight Saving referendum for Halloween
  • Metallica confirm they are only coming to Perth to get their hands on a Belmont bloke who downloaded Enter Sandman on Napster in ’99
  • James Blunt heard loudly claiming The Ashes on the Yanchep Line 
  • Little shop selling expensive American snacks & stuff mysteriously pops up in Hakea after 2026 smoking ban announced

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  • Moving down train carriage far too similar to merging for Perth to feel comfortable attempting
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