First-Year Curtin Student Finally Feels Part Of The Uni After Copping First Parking Fine

After enrolling at Curtin University, student Sara was keen to soak up everything that the institution had to offer. However, until today she said she always felt like she didn’t quite fit in. 

That’s until she was a few milliseconds late to return to her car and got her first Curtin Uni parking infringement. From some of the most vigilant inspectors in the game. She told The Times,

“You hear that the parking lot is an absolute infringement slaughter ground and I was beginning to feel left out but yesterday was my lucky day. Finally, I could rejoice with my fellow students about having to beg my folks to cover the fine because my 2 days at Woolies weren’t going to cut it”

Sara blames the CellOPark app for glitching and logging her out. Which she claims is why she copped the fine. Her passionate complaints were met with warm acceptance at the Tav as other students shared stories of getting bent over the barrel by the piece of shit app. 

To make her feel even more welcome, an older student advised her that the appeal system was also a festering pus-boil on the ballsack of procedural fairness and if she didn’t cough up the dough she could expect debt collectors all up in her shit. 

A spokesperson for the University said that copping a parking infringement was a “key experience” and a “marker” for how one was fitting into the institution. Adding,

“At Curtin, we aim to teach students more than just what’s in their course textbooks. We aim to teach them that society is a rigid, cold place and if you don’t follow arbitrary rules to the absolute letter you’ll cop a disproportionate monetary penalty for your carelessness”

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