Perth Criminal Thanks the Justice System for Making Him a Bitcoin Millionaire

Jarred* has been accused of a lot of things in his day but being good at crime was never one of them. In fact, it was the lengthy list of accusations regarding the importation & distribution of illicit chemicals that earned Jarred a 9-year stretch behind bars. 

At the time, Jarred was balls deep into Silk Road and was buying all his product over the internet. Unlucky for Jarred is “she’ll be right” attitude to getting it all delivered to his personal address was his downfall. 

Despite the police operation and eventual bust, Jarred managed to keep a portable hard drive hidden from the prying hands of criminal property confiscation laws. A hard drive that even Jarred had forgotten about until being reunited with his shit upon his release. 

Jarred told The Bell Tower Times,

“$80,000. One bitcoin is worth $80,000 now. I had 15 of the little kents on this hard drive that me brother managed to hide from the cops. I think I paid like $14 per bitto in 2012. Farken yewwwww”

Jarred went on to tell us,

“If I hadn’t been busted I would’ve deadset blown that on a coupla pingas for the weekend. Thanks to the justice system, I was forced to let me asset appreciate for 9 years. Now you’re looking at a certified millionaire bruz, ous ous”

Speaking to his brother who had no idea of the value of the hard drive we were told,

“Yeah, as soon as those BTC were even worth $100 he would’ve blown it on gear. Dopey farker was doing bigger lines than Nazcar at the time. If it wasn’t for being banged up he never would’ve succeeded in life. He was useless, mate”

To add sugar to an already full bowl of winning, Jarred’s Skyline which also managed to escape confiscation is something of a collector’s item now. It’s hard to imagine a bigger low-life ballin’ harder than Jarred right now. 

True to form though, Jarred couldn’t let his shit-for-brains stop him from fisting his good fortunes from arsehole to breakfast time. He told us,

“I’d just had a big night on the gear, making it rain at the rippers, and was feeling pretty good about myself in my luxurious suite at Crown. So I decided to gloat a bit I think”

Yes, as it turns out Jarred had written an email to “the justice system” and cc’d as many justice-related departments into it. He’d attached a photo of himself using a wad of $100s as a phone and told them, cheers for making him a BTC millionaire.

It was this decision that would ultimately lead to the police looking into his assets with a fine comb and starting confiscation proceedings against the crypto which was almost 100% purchased with ill-gotten gains. 

Ah, Jarred, it was good while it lasted, pal. 

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