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Perth dad who caught son smoking just relieved he didn’t catch him vaping

A Perth father that has paid far too much attention to the media has breathed a sigh of relief after finding his son destroying his lungs with good ol fashion darts. 

It was touch and go when he was called into his son’s school on Tuesday afternoon. All the teacher could tell him was that his son was caught “smoking” and obviously the man’s fears turned to the vape epidemic. 

A relaxed and carefree Rodney told The Times,

“You hear these stories about kids on vapes and it scares the hell out of me. At least my son had the common sense to suck down nicotine like the good lord intended it, through a durry”

Similarly, the boy’s mother admitted she was ready to go nuclear on her son after hearing the preliminary news but has since softened her stance. Not even banning the kid from his Playstation, adding,

“I don’t know what I would’ve done if I heard my son was on this NEW YOUTH HEALTH CRISIS of vaping. I almost cried in joy when I heard he was slamming down carcinogenic smoke from a chemical-laden deathstick”

We spoke to the boy who was not even given a suspension given what he was inhaling wasn’t a less harmful vape or a fairly safe puff of green. He told us,

“Last thing you want to do is get caught vaping by your parents. They are much more understanding of ciggies because that’s what they are used to!”

Rodney was so happy to hear the news his kid wasn’t caught up in this media fear campaign vaping business that he took the entire family out for a Hogs Breath feed on the day of the alleged incident. 

Rodney left us with these final thoughts,

“I was so proud of the boy for resisting the evils of vaping that I let him have the last few puffs on me dart ha ha, it’s the shit bit anyway but he earned it”

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?

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