Society may seek to regulate the use of power tools in the morning but they can’t regulate the loudest tool on the block – Taylor from about 5:30 am.
In a mission to remind everyone in his vicinity of what time he gets up, Taylor enjoys starting his day by slamming doors, cranking his favourite Aussie hip hop in his Hilux and driving like zinger-seeking Rinehart 10 minutes before KFC closes.
Irritating his own neighbourhood is only the beginning. His true passion is letting every property surrounding his residential work site know how early he’s up. He told The Times,
“I don’t even need an alarm clock mate, my hangover is my alarm. 5:30 every morning. You suits wouldn’t even have a morning stiffy by then mate. So I like to remind them when a real man gets to work”
Anyone who has the pleasure of living near a site Taylor has worked on says that the man has a penchant for communicating at maximum volume from the time he gets to work at 6.
We spoke to a young professional couple who like to wake up at 7 am to start their day but this week have been treated to some of Taylor’s colourful anecdotes. Carla told The Times,
“We were trying to have a pre-work cuddle and this loud guy outside started ranting about some dogcunt supplier that he’s going to feed some oos oos to if he doesn’t get back to him by Wednesday”
They claim they were annoyed but impressed at how clearly they could hear Taylor’s every thought. Adding,
“His voice travelled really well. He then switched on some power tool at 6:59am and seemed to be in a competition to make more noise than it. Telling his colleagues about which UFC girl he wanted to bang”
Far from considering his antics bothersome, Taylor believes that he is inspiring those around them to get off their arse and start living their best life.
“I reckon I could run seminars on getting up early. 5:15am this morning by the way had to power yak all over me ensuite ay”.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?
