Player of the series awarded to the Aussie public for enduring a gruelling 3 test Warnerfest

The powers to be have made an unorthodox call on the player of the Pakistan v Australia test series – giving the honour to the entire Aussie public.

Sources close to the decision makers say that the public had to endure a “gruelling” 3 test Warnerfest where the media wanked on endlessly about the villainous little man. Adding,

“We aren’t sure how they did it. Lots of muting, lots of walking away during breaks in play and just pure Aussie grit really. It has been a disgusting Warnerfest and that’s the sort of thing you can never truly prepare for”

An early attempt to even out the commentary by Mitchell Johnson was sadly buried under the 160 odd runs the sandpaperist scored in the first test.

What ensued was a relentless arse-kissing campaign from the East Coast media & commentary teams. You couldn’t go five minutes without the man being referred to as the second coming of Jesus fkn Christ.

We spoke to a member of the Aussie public who was stoked to get the honour but concedes he certainly earned it. Adding,

“That bloke really knows where the skeletons are buried doesn’t he? That or his PR team paid very handsomely for that favourable coverage. Also wtf was with that baggy green shit?”

We had to walk away from the interview as the member of the public was getting far too worked up. Understandably too.

Warner throwing Qantas under the bus for what seems increasingly likely to have been a PR stunt is just classic Davey.

You know something is very wrong when you find yourself taking Qantas’ side in a dispute! That’s the Davey Warner effect though, oh what a feeling!

RELATED: David Warner Livid After Hearing The SCG Will Be Enforcing A “No Hat, No Play” Rule Tomorrow

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