P!nk threatens to cancel concert after claiming Perth promised her a dry heat

P!nk’s management are livid with what they claim are misrepresentations by the great state of Westralia.

In correspondence sent to the State, P!nk’s team say they were promised a dry heat and after poking their heads out of the hotel today they aren’t impressed with the dryness to say the least.

We spoke with an insider for P!nk’s team who told The Times,

“What the hell is this? Did we stumble into a tropical shithole all of a sudden? Weather reports suggest tonight is going to be moister than an oyster and that’s not what P!nk signed up for. She signed up for the famous Perth dry heat”

The State of Westralia has apologised for the weekends bullshit weather but made it clear that the dryness of Perth’s heat is often overstated as a point of pride.

Going further to allege many Westralians in the Perth region are in a state of denial. Especially around the months of February and March which seem to be getting grosser by the year.

To ease P!nk’s concerns, Perth Stadium has arranged for extra swamp boxes to be installed around the stadium to give her the illusion of keeping cool. A spokesperson added,

“Obviously refrigerative aircon for that kinda space is not practical but these swamp boxes will do the job, probably”

They most certainly won’t. Nevertheless, tonight’s concert hangs in the balance of the skilled negotiators on team Westralia.

Come on P!nk, it could definitely be more humid.

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?