Top Private Schools Seek To Distance Themselves From Those Not Cracking $30K Barrier

Parents of children attending the top private schools in WA said the blanket term “private school” no longer adequately reflects their status. Especially if some peasant institutions don’t have the decency to even charge over $20k p/a. 

Understandably, PLC, Christ Church, MLC, and Scotch (possibly Hale) have banded together to request a formal change to how they are discussed in public. We spoke to a parent of a student at one of these schools who said she had some ideas. Adding,

“Ideally, we’d like to be called Elite Schools. Not Private. If the public can’t get their monkey-brains around that perhaps we could just refer to any other school charging under $30K a year as a lesser private school or simply a school?”

While the public will no doubt be amicable to cater for these school’s raging egos, some “lesser private schools” aren’t so happy about it. With St Hilda’s just scrubbing under the $30K barrier this year telling The Times,

“We hardly think it’s fair that we’ll have to wait an entire year to be referred to as an elite school. We would ask that the top 4 schools consider lowering the threshold to $29k. We agree that anyone under this figure should basically be referred to as a public school”

Aquinas and Trinity welcome the change also. Wanting nothing more than to not be mentioned in the same breath as the top 4. An Aquinas parent told The Times,

“There is a lot of negative public sentiment around kids who go to private schools. We believe the more moderately priced private schools produce lesser wankers. Wanker lites, if you will. Not full blown wankers like the top 4. We don’t want out son being judged on the basis people assume he’s some Christ Church trust-fundling”

Nevertheless, the top 4 would request the public immediately start referring to them as simply Elite Schools and refrain from making unflattering comparisons to the povo ones. 

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