Rio Tinto’s Girlfriend Ditches Company For Someone Who Can Actually Locate A 6mm Spot

News that the radioactive capsule has been found outside of Newman has relieved nations. It has also made the girlfriend of Rio Tinto roll her eyes in a state of frustration.

Biting her lip and fanning her face in a state of frustration, the stunner admitted that she was thinking real hard about the heroes who found the capsule. She told The Times,

“Rio’s tongue game weak AF. Can never find that spot no matter how hard it looks. I am so unsatisfied every night. I just want to feel something from some actual players”

Indeed, thos players were the Australian Nuclear Science and Technology Organisation and the Department of Fire and Emergency Services. Both who Rio’s now ex GF says can run an absolute train on her. Adding,

“Mmmmhmmmm, yes, there is a couple of agencies that can get me screaming for more. They know exactly where the spot is and I am ready for that. Rio can honestly go and get farked”

We spoke to Rio who said it had previously attempted to satisfy its lover but had come up short. Adding,

“We told her that we knew where the cave was and could make it explode. Turns out we missed the mark. Which is unfortunately what the wider WA public feel about us too. Please come back baby, we can change”

RELATED: Rio ‘sorry’ for lost radioactive cap, yearns for an ancient Aboriginal cave they could bury the scandal under

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