Residents not having a Marble Bar of the official temperature recordings

Residents of the Pilbara town aren’t having a Marble Bar of the official temperature readings. Claiming the scientific technology is underselling their intense heat by multiple degrees.

This comes off reports last week when Marble Bar hit a “record high” in late December of 49.3C at 3.56 pm.

We spoke to a Marble Bar local who was furious this was reported to the masses,

“49.3? Piss off and blow it out ya arse, ya bloody scientist mutt! You ask anyone from these parts and the temperature is a lot higher than that. When I used to work out on a station we’d be mustering in 58 degree days, wouldn’t even work up a sweat”

Weatherzone also reported the following recently:

“Marble Bar is on track to register four straight weeks of daily temperatures above 43ºC, possibly setting a new extreme heat record in a town already world famous for its relentless summer temperatures”

Another local read the above paragraph and had to be physically restrained by 4 of his crusty mates. As he yelled at The Times,

“43? I don’t even take off my bloody Ugg Boots in 43. You think that’s a record in Marble Bar? I remember 5 straight years of 50+ daily temperatures, just ask anyone who actually lives out here”

A group of Marble Bar residents have made their way to the BOM Perth office and are demanding they report on the actual temperatures that they have written on the inside panel of an Emu Export carton.

They were refused entry but made it pretty easy for the “whitecoat muppets” to get through their “shitfabrains”. Basically, any reading they think they’ve taken add 50% and you’re half way there.

We take this moment to note that Marble Bar is particularly proud of its disgusting temperatures.

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?