Great Northern, XXXX and Iron Jack have absolutely flown off the shelves after the Perth Scorchers stole the thunder from an animated Brisbane Heat this afternoon at Perth Stadium. With the underdogs showing a lot of heart but ultimately getting scorched in the furnace.
Bottleshops were able to clear their stocks of unsellable QLD swill within just 5 minutes of the Perth Scorchers sealing the victory. We spoke to an Eastern suburbs bottlo owner who told The Times,
“Honestly you wouldn’t believe it. I don’t know where they all came from. These leathery skinned blokes in NRL shorts just descend upon us seeking first aid after getting scorched. Took every carton of Iron Jack they could. Pretty stoked, we’ve been trying to sell it for months”
Another bottlo owner in the South of Perth says he thanks The West for their dogshit backpage calling The Heat a pack of nobodies. Adding,
“Obviously, the Scorchers done their bit but The West really fired up the visitors with that sad attempt at WA chest pumping so I reckon this scorching feels extra rough for em. They needed to cool down the only way they knew”
Western Australians are advised to keep their distance from Queenslanders this evening given the high temperatures and even higher consumption of beer tasting like human piss.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?