The Legend of the Perth Wheel Clamp Man

In 2012, Perth was shaken by the actions of one man. Few people have stood so defiantly at the urinal of civil obedience and unleashed such a gushing flow of selfless vigilantism.

Wheel Clamp Man used to live a normal life, just like any of you, until one day he received the clamp of doom in an area that he claimed had no parking signage.

For days the stew of discontent simmered on the stove of his mind. “Fuck this”, he reckoned as he thought of ways to get back at them. After all, this wasn’t the women’s 8 rowing final at the 2004 Olympics, so he wasn’t going to take it laying down.

Alas, contesting the fine and expletive-laden letters were unable to soothe the inferno of raging hatred in his heart. So, he took things a few steps further.

He donned a mask and took to the streets looking like the love child of Captain Planet & the Grinch. He was armed with an angle grinder and was on a mission to loosen the clamps of overzealous parking enforcement.

By all reports, he was active for a few weeks and helped a handful of motorists escape the claw of justice. First obtaining their consent, and then grinding harder than a gurner’s jaw.

By all reports, Wheel Clamp Man managed to avoid capture, although some are less optimistic, believing big-parking got to him.

Faced with a life of always looking over his shoulder for a henchman in the parking enforcement army, it is believed Wheel Clamp Man fled the country and is shacked up in the Malaysian jungle waiting for the heat to die down.

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?