In a shock to the industry, Tony Galati has been given the nod from the Richmond Footy Club to take the top spot after Hardwick announced he’d be stepping down due to not really feeling it anymore.
Richmond’s top brass all agreed that Galati was perfect for the role given his experience with a bunch of old spuds. A spokesperson for Richmond told The Times,
“Let’s face it, the Richmond footy club ain’t what it used to be. They are old, tired, and unlikely to be getting vertigo from the pointy end of the ladder anytime soon. So we need an experienced operator to mash ‘em up a bit and get something cooking”
Obviously, things are moving quickly and we can report that Dustin Martin has already taken a tour of their new training facility in Jandakot. A spokesperson for the spud king told The Times,
“Hardwick obviously focused on running, tackling, and kicking drills. Under Tony’s regime, the boys will be building core strength by stacking shelves and offering unbeatable discounts to struggling Western Australians. That’s how you provide true value”
It seems that the boys have really got behind their new coach. A witness at Jandakot Spudshed told The Times that Tim Taranto moved over 500 kg of potatoes at his first training session. Adding,
“Obviously not everyone in the team identifies as a spud. Shai Bolton for example was a little offended however Jack Reiwoldt was there to assure everyone that the path from superstar to spud awaits them all. Acceptance is the only way forward”
North Melbourne is apparently “spewing” they missed out on the opportunity.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?