Harley Reid, the much-hyped probable number #1 draft pick, has been seen in his hometown trying to order a “long mac topped up” at a local cafe. A witness spotted the 185cm future superstar looking at the drink confused and bewildered.
It took several minutes of back and forth for the local cafe to understand what he wanted. Alas, in the end, not even Harley could be sure it’s what he wanted. A witness told The Times,
“He looked over at some kind of mentor figure and asked him why he couldn’t just have a cappuccino or latte like a normal person. This guy patted him on the back and told him that he’d better get used to it. Also stating that ‘they’ don’t much appreciate it when someone bad mouths their favourite coffee”
After receiving his order, the young star drank the coffee and instantly declared, “that’s hell good, ay”, stuck his tongue out and delivered an absolutely stunning double shaka to the barista who made the coffee. It was a truly egregious act of Western Australianism. His mentor figure was clearly conflicted and told The Times,
“Yeah, it’s good that he’s getting used to his fate but it’s just hard to hear those words from the boy. He’s a proud Victorian and it was all just too real. All just too west coast. A long mac topped up ffs, it’s a latte!”
Reports of Harley’s West Coast acclimatisation have begun flooding in. One reporter said the young bloke ended an interview at a weekend footy game by asking him what school he went to.
There are also reports that Harley has purchased a pair of Unit boardies and 3 bonafide Hillzeez bumper stickers for his future lifted Hilux. A source close to Reid told The Times,
“Just look at him, you can’t be rocking that kind of hair and not have a Hillzeez bumper sticker in WA. He’s been learning the lyrics to the Hillzeez advert but that might be overkill”
Sounds like the young man is watching the AFL season with the same realisation many WA fans have come to. It seems like the only question left is whether Harley will be a SOR or NOR man. Given he’ll be lacing up for the Eagles, I think the answer is pretty obvious.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?