WA’s First “Ride-on Mowerplex” Planned for Mundaring

Mundaring ride-on speed demons are over the moon after the WA Government announced plans to invest in Australia’s first “Ride-On Mowerplex” modelled on Kwinana’s iconic facility. 

The investment is WA’s clearest sign yet that they accept and support the lifestyle of Mundaring hill dwellers. A sort of truce, if you will. 

A spokesperson for the WA Government told The Times,

“Previously, we took a hands-off approach to Perth/Mundaring relations. We just kinda let them do their thing and only really got involved if we absolutely had to but now we want Mundaring to know that we hear them and we want to foster their culture”

White Knuckle Mowing is the company expected to win the tender to operate the facility and they couldn’t be more excited. Telling The Times,

“It will be fun for every urban farmer. We’ll have Whoop-grass Wednesdays where you can bring your ride-on down and bang it around the grass track. Winner gets a huge sack of grain feed or a ute tray of organic fertiliser”

No doubt Whoop-grass Wednesdays would be a hit but we asked what other competitions punters could expect. They told us,

“Also weekly mow-offs and a yearly demo-derby where we will pit neighbourly rivals against each other to sort out fencing disputes and whatever ever other bullshit Mundaring residents have going on”

In time, Mundaring hopes it can boost the skills of its ride-on-mower population to one day take on the real farmers in a national championship. A mowing aficionado told The Times,

“Don’t get it wrong, we are pretty slick on a ride on up here in Mundaring but we can’t put the same hours in those country boys can. The Mowerplex is a fantastic opportunity to give our mower stars a chance to make it to the big league. Not just the pub on a Sunday arvo”

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?