Wealthy Como residents demand exclusive use of South Terrace Freeway off-ramp

Como residents living off the South Terrace freeway off-ramp have demanded exclusive use to the exclusive thoroughfare claiming it as basically a birthright. 

The off-ramp borders the suburbs of South Perth and Como and while to the casual observer looks like a world-class rort, it is said to relieve significant traffic pressure on the Canning Highway exit. Nevertheless, Como residents have had an absolute gutful. 

We spoke to a Como resident who lives off Labouchere Rd who told The Times,

“Firstly, South Perth residents can eat a dick. They have their precious Mill point Rd with their precious foreshore and stunning river views. We have a disgusting Freeway and Como “beach”, let us have something ffs”

Playing Devil’s Advocate, we put it to the resident that he also had access to the Canning Highway off-ramp. He responded aggressively, 

“Canning Highway exit is to keep the poor side of Como away from our beautiful off-ramp. We always laugh about those Applecross snobs having to share an exit with our filth. Game, set, match North COMO”

It seems west Como residents are incensed by South Como residents bailing out of the Freeway shitshow early and using their South Terrace ramp. We spoke to such an individual who lives on Talbot Ave, he told The Times,

“Yeah, Canning Highway is probably closer but honestly that extra stretch of the Freeway just destroys my will to live. Yeah, I take South Terrace and then just cruise peacefully through the leafy burbs of Como. Am I no less entitled to the boons of Como just because I’m a short walk to Manning?”

Similarly, South Perth residents who live near South Terrace are furious, stating that they will do what they want when they want so help them, god. In classic South Perth fashion. 

We contacted Main Roads WA to ask if they were taking the proposal seriously. They simply responded, “not this again”, before hanging up in an obvious state of vexation. 

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