The free 7kg carry-on is OUT, let’s see what else they are planning:
1. Coin slot for reclining your seat – passengers behind can also insert coins to return your seat upright, resulting in a mid-flight bidding war.
2. Bogan-free row charge – these could go for up to 500% on Bali flights due to scarcity.
3. Premium both engines working flight – consider it an insurance charge.
4. Priority cancellation text – get the news before the others.
5. Check-on baggage arriving with you charge – it’ll save you money in the long run not having to replace all those holiday clothes.
6. Premium toilet privacy package – pay for one with a door or just do your business in full view like the animal Jetstar want you to be.
7. Pay-to-use armrests – settle the age old dispute with contractual rights.
8. Cabin breathing fee – you think oxygen is free?
9. Soothing baby screaming sounds – played from a seat speaker that can be switched off for a fee.
10. Destination guarantee fee – have the piece of mind you’ll arrive where you’re meant to.