Veteran FIFO Can’t Sleep Without Sound Of Some Bloke Slashing Directly Into The Water At Night

Cam is a well seasoned FIFO worker that has clocked up over 30 years in the industry. He’s no stranger to a donga and in part, that’s his problem now. 

Relocated to a cushy Perth office position, Cam now resides in Belmont and has begun to find the nights tougher & tougher.

Banging his 4th Monster for the day, Cam told The Times,

“The first time some shitkent wakes you up by pissing directly into the water at 1 am you wanna go and knock his block off but after 30 years mate, it becomes like a lullaby”

We asked a psychologist about Cam’s problem and were told,

“It’s like married couples and snoring. Eventually, that obnoxious noise just becomes part of the norm. For Cam, it’s some meathead unleashing a thunderous piss directly into the water with absolutely no regard for every other worker sleeping around him”

Luckily, Cam had a mate visiting from Queensland that he put up in his spare room on one condition – he uses Cam’s ensuite if he needs to chuck a slash. 

Cam’s mate said a lot of blokes would feel weird about that but he completely understood where he was coming from,

“Mate, if you’re in the donga game for as long as Cam was you get used to certain sounds. So that whole week I made sure I’d have an extra 4 beers before bed and really put on a show for Cam. Some serious splash back”

Cam was told by specialists that he was able to sleep between swings because the regular sound of the extreme urination essentially got his body into a rhythm. It only became a problem when it went weeks without the irritating sound. 

As a workaround, Cam has recorded an ungodly stream he set free at the Peninsula Tavern on a Friday arvo and set it as his alarm. That way he can hear a powerful piddle at various points in the night. 

However, experts have warned he is only delaying his recovery and going cold turkers is the only way forward. 

Surely a long road for Camdawg and we wish him well.