Art Attack Reboot Planned Where Neil Smashes Piss While Painting To Appeal To Millennial Audience

Finally! Art Attack is coming back to the screens in a modern re-envisioning where Neil will spend most of the episode getting pissed as he creates beautiful artwork. It is expected to be a massive hit with the sip & paint community.

We spoke to a network executive who said she was “very excited” about the program. Adding,

“We think this is pretty cutting edge. Mixing nostalgia with the current trend. Who wouldn’t want to see the master get a bit bolder with his end-of-episode mural? Just a man with a brush letting loose. That’s the millennial way”

It is undeniable that the public needs this in their lives. Especially given a recent survey found that 8/10 millennials can’t even stomach the idea of arts & crafts without a drink in their grubby little mitt. We spoke to Cecile who told The Times,

“It’s all about validating our lifestyle. Sometimes I worry that we are a bit dependent on alcohol for socialising but if Neil did it then it’d feel alright. What a man. What a legend”

Local galleries have already jumped on the opportunity and are planning paint & sip classes mixed with screenings of each episode. One curator told The Times,

“Basically, we want this to descend into something resembling early 2000’s Ambar. We’ll put a large paper sheet on the floor and then just let these half-pissed millennials loose on it. Create something that would disgust Neil but make them feel like artists. It’s going to be good”

Looking forward to it.

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?