Aussie cricketers not sure if they won the World Cup or went to a silent retreat

While there were signs of life early, the atmosphere in Narenda Modi Stadium in Ahmedabad quickly made Rolf Harris’ funeral seem like a lively shindig.

We spoke to the hero of the day, Travis Head, who said he was unsure if he was competing in a World Cup final or doing one of those silent retreats that annoying people go on. Adding,

“It fell pretty silent when King Kohli got bowled by Cummins. What a delicious delivery. What a sensational wicket. I think it was at that point the Indian fans knew they were in some trouble. Ah well, if i did go to a silent retreat I better talk endlessly about it like the kind of people who go on them!”

The silent retreat continued on with every masterful stroke of Travis Head and an unlikely ally in Marcus Labuschagne who brilliantly held his composure. 

Alas, the silence wasn’t good for everybody. With an Aussie cricket fan who had been on the beer & curry diet for the past month. 

In previous games, he was able to release a few stinkers with ease but it wasn’t so hard during this game. He told The Times,

“Yeah, I’m a pig, sue me, everyone was cropdusting those stands but when India fell completely silent it wasn’t so easy! I got stinkeyes from people sitting 5 rows over!”

Ultimately, the Aussies wiped the floor with India and belted them by 6 wickets. To say India choked would be an understatement. 

In fact, scientists have confirmed that the stands of the stadium were momentarily the quietest place on Earth which is quite the achievement. 

NASA said it may have even rivalled space in terms of the complete absence of noise.