A Perth truck driver has apparently woken up feeling extra frisky. His housemate confirmed that he spent the morning pigeon-chesting around the rental exclaiming that king kong ain’t got shit on him.
The reason for this extra pep in his step? Well, it’s the weekend that his mortal enemy falls thus rendering him invincible in his own eyes. His housemate told The Times,
“With Baysie gone he really feels like he’s untouchable now. Kept saying he was in a real mood to drive a truck in full knowledge he wasn’t going to be *that guy*. I asked him what the clearance on his current rig was, he said it didn’t matter anymore”
The driver reached near-critical levels of gee-up at about 10:30 this morning. When he almost knocked the top off his meaty gear stick while viewing some photos of the demolition. He told The Times,
“My people are finally free. It’s a huge day for the HiVis trucking community. We used to live in fear. Waiting for our time to be feasted on but not this weekend. No sir, this weekend we drive like shit without fear of consequence”
A Tribute To Bayswater Bridge, The Hungriest Girl We’ll Ever Know
Some would argue that the driver is being far too cocky. With the Sutherland overpass reportedly keen to take a shot at the throne. A spokesperson for the Sutherland underpass told The Times,
“Sutherland underpass knows it has big shoes to fill. It’s like Oscar Allen replacing JK. It won’t be easy but the opportunity to become a legend is there. You better believe Sutherland will be upping its game. Building its appetite”
We can report that the jazzed up truck driver was escorted off the demo site just minutes ago after dashing towards the bridge to chuck an almighty slash on the structure. A final f-you for her reign of pain over the years.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?
