Bloke who watched too much Sons of Anarchy reckons he knows the Bikie’s next move

Local Perth bloke, Jaxsin, has been eagerly updating anyone who will listen with his expert analysis of what will happen after high-profile ex-Bikie Dayne Brajkovich was attacked at the Ministry of Sound festival in Kings Park.

To date, Jaxsin has watched the Sons of Anarchy TV show 8 times to completion. So it’s no surprise he knows a thing or two about 1% biker gangs.

We sat down with the man who walked in like he’d just snared a good 2fa1 deal on some canoes from BCF. He told The Times,

“Retaliation is everything in the bikie world, if you know the kinda blokes I know, you’d know that. I can’t tall ya nuffink more cos I ain’t no dog, that’s the code when you live the life I do”

Seemingly happy to break the code of the “bloke who claims to know bikies”, Jaxsin began to reenact how he reckoned a retaliatory attack would go down. Using his remote controller as a weapon. Adding,

“Yous are gonna want to make it public to send a message, ya know? If it was me I’d be hitting back hard. Supplement shops, tattoo parlours, the works. You didn’t hear it from me but”

Seemingly drifting off into Yellowstone territory, Jaxsin said he reckons a Hilux ramming a number of parked Harleys would be a good intimidation tactic and one he’d order if he was in charge.

Playing the Devil’s Advocate, we asked whether perhaps he had taken the recent sensationalised reporting to heart. With the police wanting to overstate the threat to public to justify future bikie laws and the media wanting to sell papers. He told us,

“I ain’t never spoken to no cop. Ever. Told you I”m not a dog, that’d take ya patch and ya life for that”

Indeed, Jaxsin has never had inform police of anything as he’s never been charged with a criminal offence. Well, unless you count pissing on a tree in Northbridge as the sort of 1% activity the police hard a stiffy for.

That’s when his housemate appeared and questioned some of Jaxsin’s claims. He told The Times,

“Is Jaxsin talking about the payback on Clay Morrow again? Man, if I get woken up by that freak rubbing one out to a Sons of Anarchy episode again I’m going to kick him out. He doesn’t know a single bikie, trust me”

Jaxsin angrily rebuked the claim and angrily told his housemate that there was definitely one at a Muay Thai retreat in Thailand. He even had the photo (oddly) on his bedside table. Upon a quick examination, he was just standing next a a bloke from Rockingham.

We can only hope Jaxsin has got this one wrong!

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?