Bogan Plans To Do Bali Quarantine The Old Fashioned Way – In A Denpasar Holding Cell

Aiden aka Aido is planning to fly to Bali at the first possible opportunity. Having level 10 call-me-boss-blue-balls for almost 2 years. 

He could, of course, wait a few weeks for some of the more onerous restrictions to be lifted; however Aido isn’t that kind of man. 

Therefore, he’ll have to do 3 days quarantine and have proof of travel insurance to the value of $100k to enter Bali. Requirements Aido isn’t fazed about. 

We spoke to Aido while he was ambitiously trying to pick some old Big Mac sauce stains out of his favourite Bintang singlet. He told us,

“Got these stains in Kuta bruz, early 2019. Little did I know these would be the last stains I’d get for a while, ay. As for the conditions of entry that’s fark all mate, if you know me, you know I’m often quarantined in some way, shape or form during international travel”

We asked him whether he was planning to quarantine in one of Bali’s bubble resorts. He told us,

“Fark that for a joke, man, I’m going to do it the old fashioned way, locked up in a Denpasar airport holding cell while they decide whether to deport me for chucking a slash on the cunny snoring next to me and biting a flight attendant ha ha”

As it happens, Aido has a habit of getting a little excited on the flight over to Bali and routinely drinks 6 double strength bourbon beverages on his 20 minute ride to the airport. 

If you’ve ever seen a bloke with his sunnies around the back of his neck, loudly squawking for a beer the very second the seat belt light goes off, that’s Aido – and he isn’t alone. 

Ngurah Rai International Airport is expecting quite a few punters from Australia to be doing their quarantine in the holding cells so have reached out to the Denpasar police for any overflow “accommodation” while these unruly bogans are processed. 

Perplexed, we asked Aido why he wouldn’t opt for a more comfortable place to quarantine. He answers, 

“Travel is all about finding a bit of comfort bruz, and it just wouldn’t feel the same to me unless I was being thrown on a concrete floor and threatened with all sorts of shit after a flight from Australia. It’s where I belong mate”

It’s hard to argue with that.

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?