BREAKING: Twiggy On The Loose!

The public has been warned that mining magnate, Andrew “Twiggy” Forrest is experiencing unprecedented levels of twiggy-joy after a Wallabies win at Perth Stadium.

If there is one thing that Twiggy loves it’s rugby and WA. So needless to say, it’s a dangerous evening to get between the man and a bottle of Grange.

A source close to Twiggy said he was stoked to see the Wallabies get up over England that he even cracked into some vintage iron ore. Normally reserved after he hooks up a sweet trade deal with China. Adding,

“All Twiggy can talk about is how there should be an international and domestic game of rugby on at Perth Stadium every single week. To him, tonight is proof that rugby is the future of WA and he will crush anyone who stands in his way. He kept calling himself the mill”

Not only is the billionaire treating himself to some of the finest iron ore that the state has ever produced but he’s summoned the entire Wallabies team to his Cottesloe lair.

A source close to Twiggy told The Times,

“He just wanted to impress on the boys how proud he was of them. He also made it clear that if they dropped the ball like that again at the end of the game he’d have go full Twig on them. He didn’t even have to elaborate on what that mean. To Twiggy every Australian has a duty to uphold the sanctity of Rugby”

In the wake of the victory, Twiggy has entered into talks with the WA Government to establish a rugby academy on every street corner.

We also note that Darcy Swain was told by the man that a red card under Twiggy’s inevitable rule of rugby would result in 6months in the iron ore mine, “that dog pulled your hair but we have to be better than them”

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?

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