Against the odds, young lawyer Rob has managed to shoehorn another reference to his job in a casual conversation with a friend of a friend.
The impressive conversation occurred over the weekend at a Vic Park pub. After being introduced to a mate’s friend he began the dance of the occupation-dropper. A witness told The Times,
“What a master, after he shook her hand he immediately steered the conversation towards how the day’s drinks would affect them at work the next day. He’d laid the trap, it was like inception”
It was much more like cuntception but we digress. The witness continued,
“So the girl he was talking to laughed and said she has the late shift so she’ll be fine, that’s when he asked her what she did. She told him she was a nurse and reciprocated the question, as social custom dictates. He had her where he wanted her”
By all reports, young Rob didn’t miss a beat as he told her he was a lawyer and wasn’t looking forward to the hustle & bustle of the Terrace tomorrow with a hangover. It was outstanding form and he was pleased at the execution of his plan.
However, anyone who knows Rob knows he was just warming up. He gazed at his entry-level Longines watch and waited for exactly 5 minutes to pass before seamlessly slipping in another reference to his employment. A witness told The Times,
“I have to admit this second occupation-drop wasn’t quite as smooth as the last one. He was asked what footy team he went for and he said Dockers which was tough given his law firm is very much an Eagles environment. Absolutely no one asked for that extra bit”
It was at that time, the girl in question decided their conversation had run its course. She excused herself to go to the bar and that’s when Rob saw opportunity where other men see defeat. A witness continued,
“God he’s cringe, he goes, ‘I OBJECT!’ then she stares at him confused and he insists on going to the bar himself and buying her a drink. He just couldn’t help himself, he then spent the entire 5 second walk explaining to her that “OBJECTION” is an Americanism and in Australia we say ‘I Object’, the moron hasn’t been near a courtroom”
By the end of the Sunday session, Rob had specifically mentioned he was a lawyer 7 times and made over 23 legal references. It was a best-on-ground performance for the lad.
His subsequent DM in her IG inbox was left on seen.
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