Johnny has had an absolute gutful of people unfairly stereotyping Camry drivers as people born into the land that driving ability forgot.
Not only does Johnny use his indicator 30% of the time (not never, haters) but he also has proven that not all Camry drivers have a box of tissues on their parcel shelf.
We spoke to Johnny who told The Bell Tower Times,
“Come over here, look, look, what do you see? Do you see a god damn tissue box? No, you don’t. What do you see? You think it’s OK to stereotype us?”
It was obvious that Johnny was somewhat combative. Playing along, we identified the item that he was pointing at with the fury of a thousand golden gods smiting a blasphemous lamb down. “A tub of wet wipe things”.
Johnny flew off the handle,
“Ex-fucken-actly, not tissues, wet wipes. Do you think they are the same thing? Wet wipes have far more practical applications and I’d hate to be in a vehicle without them. What’s the problem with having a sanctuary wipe in your car anyway? Go suck a lolly!”
Jonny had to take a minute from his maniacal cackling to fix up his parking job. He’d managed to park in two bays, despite the parking lot being reasonably busy and other motorists yearning for a park of their own.
Johnny came storming back to point out that according to a recent survey, 50% of cars have some type of napkin, tissue or wet wipe in their motor vehicle at all times.
He was desperately trying to use his body to block our vision of the many dents in his car. Like a can of Bingles, once he popped his collision cherry he was obviously unable to stop.
He launched into another unprompted tirade,
“Yeah sometimes I do drive in the left lane at a modest pace, what’s the difference? Can you not go around? Have you ever tried to find your favourite talkback radio channel after your stupid nitwit son changed the settings on your wireless?”
Things were getting tense. Until Johnny cut the interview short. His customer had been waiting for about 30 minutes now, and the food wasn’t going to deliver itself.
We learned a harsh lesson today. Never stereotype.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?
