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Tuesday, August 25, 2026
The Bell Tower Times
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Category: Bell Tower Times

Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

REPORT: Melbourne couldn’t find a clearance at an early 2000s Rugs-a-Million closing down sale

Belle July 21, 2024

The AFL has conceded that one of its most loved sons – the Melbourne Demons – have developed a real and brutal allergy to clearances…

View More REPORT: Melbourne couldn’t find a clearance at an early 2000s Rugs-a-Million closing down sale
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Technology & Finance

BREAKING: Cash is King Enthusiast Still Has A Stiffy

Belle July 21, 2024

A man who bases his entire personality around loudly typing “CASH IS KING!” has been admitted to hospital today after maintaining rock hard status since…

View More BREAKING: Cash is King Enthusiast Still Has A Stiffy
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Technology & Finance

Australia to roll out pirated copies of Windows XP after global tech outage 

Belle July 20, 2024

Australia has vowed to protect its citizens against all future global outages by making pirated copies of the GOAT Windows XP available to all citizens…

View More Australia to roll out pirated copies of Windows XP after global tech outage 
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

AFL promises Flagmantle 8 business class sinks to piss in to even playing field 

Belle July 18, 2024

The AFL has responded to the furore over the Flagmantle chartered flight that saw players need to urinate into the sink due to a lack…

View More AFL promises Flagmantle 8 business class sinks to piss in to even playing field 
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Business

ex-BASE jumper now entering building contracts in WA to satisfy his risk-taking tendencies

Belle July 17, 2024

A former BASE jumper and all-around lunatic has revealed that throwing himself off buildings, antennae, bridges and cliffs no longer gives him the thrill it…

View More ex-BASE jumper now entering building contracts in WA to satisfy his risk-taking tendencies
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS From the Zoo

A Day In The Life Of A Law Graduate 

Belle July 17, 2024 A Day In The Life Of

6:30 am – crywank in the shower until I am sufficiently purged of all bodily fluids that will get in my way today. I am an…

View More A Day In The Life Of A Law Graduate 

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