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Tuesday, August 25, 2026
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Category: Bell Tower Times

Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Local

WA Boomer traces all young people’s problems back to the lack of regular boondie fights

Belle July 25, 2024

Ron, a WA grandfather, has sensationally claimed that the significant decrease in clumped sand battles is the leading factor in every problem that Gen Z…

View More WA Boomer traces all young people’s problems back to the lack of regular boondie fights
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

Entire 2006 Eagles playing squad appointed new coach of West Coast

Belle July 24, 2024

Western Australia footy media has been shocked by the announcement of the new coach of the West Coast Eagles. It was previously thought that Daryl…

View More Entire 2006 Eagles playing squad appointed new coach of West Coast
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Sports

Lynx Africa weaponised alongside cardboard “anti-sex beds” in Paris Olympic Village

Belle July 24, 2024

To “gently dissuade” athletes from running a fortnight long train on each other, the Paris Olympics has weaponised Lynx Africa to destroy female toeyness. Alongside…

View More Lynx Africa weaponised alongside cardboard “anti-sex beds” in Paris Olympic Village
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS From the Zoo

A Day in the Life of a Westralian Who Can’t Handle A Little Bit of Winter 

Belle July 23, 2024 A Day In The Life Of

6:00 am – I awake the soviet horror of a cold draught creeping into my fortress of warmth. Despite the full frontal heat-assault I launch…

View More A Day in the Life of a Westralian Who Can’t Handle A Little Bit of Winter 
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS True-ish Crime

Transit Officers Get Special Powers To Confiscate Phones Blaring Aussie Hip Hop

Belle July 22, 2024

Legislation has been rushed through parliament to grant the PTA officers the power to confiscate any phone on public transport that is blaring shit music…

View More Transit Officers Get Special Powers To Confiscate Phones Blaring Aussie Hip Hop
Bell Tower Times BREAKING NEWS Politics

Biden announces plan to get a house on the Mandurah canals and a Dome long mac topped up served extra hot

Belle July 22, 2024

Joe Biden has sent shockwaves through American politics today by announcing he’s stepping aside in the Presidential race due to some lacklustre performances on the…

View More Biden announces plan to get a house on the Mandurah canals and a Dome long mac topped up served extra hot

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