Lonely Woman Causes Bingle On Freeway So She Can Experience Men Fighting Over Her

Needing to get her groove back, Perth cougar Samantha decided she needed to experience the rush of several heavily tattooed men fighting over her.

She considered getting dressed up for a night at the Cas but figured there was an easier way to create a feeding frenzy around what she had to offer. 

So, in a low point for Samantha, she let her natural driving ineptitude shine and rear-ended a car in front of her. She told The Times,

“My plan worked perfectly. Within like 5 minutes I was surrounded by these big aggro men really taking charge. I was like oh don’t fight over me daddies!”

Playing hard to get, Samantha watched the tow truck drivers become more and more desperate to win Samantha over. She added,

“One of them said he saw me first and the other one saying he didn’t care because I’d led him onto believing he’d be entering into a (contractual) relationship with me for the release of my car upon payment”

You can only imagine how thrilled Samantha was after a 3rd and 4th towie arrived on the scene to battle for her attention. 

A tow truck driver on the scene told The Times that usually people are intimidated by his pushy antics but Samantha was loving it. Adding,

“She was biting her lip when I did my usual spiel that she could get fined for not clearing her car from the Freeway in a timely manner. She kept saying that she didn’t think my truck could go the distance. Kept winking at me too”

Another towie who at one point got another in a headlock told The Times,

“Eventually she called RAC. I don’t even think it was about getting the car towed. I think she just wanted another swinging dick in the fray. She said she felt like the belle of the ball. People don’t usually warm to us like that”

To make the occasion even more magical for Samantha, she even got a visit from a police officer who was accusing her of deliberately causing the crash. She told The Times,

“All this fuss over little old me *made an actual cougar growling noise* I do love a man in uniform”


Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?