Carrying around a yoga mat is for basic cougars – Any cougar worth their Lululemon high rises knows that fitness equipment is a powerful accessory whether…
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Category: Bell Tower Times
Gen Z Cancel Cottesloe Beach After Accusing it of Having Main Character Energy
Cottesloe Beach has been served a harsh dose of reality after a viral TikToker accused the famous beach of having an inoperable case of main…
View More Gen Z Cancel Cottesloe Beach After Accusing it of Having Main Character Energy
Mid-30s bloke keeps Pendulum wristband on to let younger staff know he’s still got it
Local mid-30s bloke and former party animal Sam has made sure his green wristband from the Pendulum gig yesterday remained on his wrist as he…
View More Mid-30s bloke keeps Pendulum wristband on to let younger staff know he’s still got it
Local bobtail wants to know if your eyes are fucken painted on mate
At 8:30 am this morning, a local bobtail had just finished a healthy session of terrorising a cowardly old lady in her garden. Feeling satisfied…
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Deceased Grandfather Now Underground Enough For Hipster’s Love
Eugene is preparing for the most exclusive DJ synth set of 2023: his grandfather’s wake. Eugene and his grandfather struggled to find common ground in…
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Perth Driver’s Licences Now Conditional On Passing Simulated Bunbury Farmers Market Test
In a radical overhaul to road safety, the DoT has decreed that all Perth learner drivers will be required to successfully pass a simulated Bunbury…
View More Perth Driver’s Licences Now Conditional On Passing Simulated Bunbury Farmers Market Test