Scott Morrison resigns from Parliament to spend more time on the tools

Canberra’s loss is Western Australia’s gain as the former Prime Minister is expected to hand in his resignation to Parliament and dive ballsdeep into the WA construction industry.

A source close to ScoMo says the ukulele-playing lunatic is keen to develop his welding skills in a market that is crying out for competent tradesmen. Adding,

“ScoMo always fancied himself a real man and not the little wifey’s boy Pentecostal simp that he kinda is. So obviously the WA construction industry is a good fit, he’ll get on with those blokes real well I reckon”

Industry leaders in WA have reviewed ScoMo’s past experience and admit they have seen worse. Although he’s likely to blind himself in the first week of work he does have an extensive resume where he claims to be able to do the work of 5 men. One told The Times,

“Yeah, you seen some of the numpties we get from the UK? He’ll do, mate, especially if he’s not bullshitting about holding 5 jobs at the same time. We can barely find a bloke to do one job!”

To prepare for his new life in the WA construction industry, ScoMo has been spotted at Canberra tattoo parlours getting quotes for 2 full arm sleeves and his first facial tattoo.

He’s also ditched his luxury sedan for a Nissan GQ Diesel 4WD and has been getting to know the locals are Perth TABs. A source close to ScoMo told The Times,

“He’s learning the language pretty well. When in doubt just throw in an arbitrary fark or carnt and you can’t really go wrong. He’s also pretty keen to see what the CFMEU can offer him given his penchant for avoiding work where possible”

Naturally, the ex-high flyer has made it clear he won’t be doing any sort of apprentice or TA work. Confirming that he doesn’t hold the hose or broom mate.

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