Not even the threat of cancelling his son’s trust fund could stop a local boy from breaking his father’s heart and taking up an apprenticeship after school.
“This isn’t what I signed up for”, the dad snarled as he paced up and down his luxurious study waiting for his lawyer to call him back.
Needless to say, the man is fuming and has commenced an action against the school for not doing enough to inspire his son to be a corporate tool like himself. A noticeably irate father told The Times,
“It’s simple, I pay hundreds of thousands of bucks in school fees and my son becomes a soulless, heartless lawyer or banker parasite. Clearly, something has gone very wrong as my son has enrolled to do a plumbing apprenticeship. I shit on tradies”
In his action, the father is also compelling the school to change its name to mean “PRIVATE Schools Association”. Adding,
“Why does it stand for Public Schools Association? Makes no sense, this sham of an organisation is so ashamed of its name it goes by its acronym. Do you have any idea how much I’ve paid in school fees? Uniform? A year 10 trip to Japan?”
We are told the father commenced the legal action after finding himself unsatisfied with the responses to his 1500 emails, 600 phone calls, and several wine nights in an attempt to influence the old boys association.
Stink-eying a Toyota HiAce parked on his street, he told us,
“They told me that trades are the way to go. It wasn’t strictly in line with their ethos but there aren’t many lawyer jobs going out there. Tried to convince me that MY SON was better off as a common pleb. Do you know how much I’ve paid to this school?”
We understand the school has apologised and admitted that many elite schools agreed to help out with the trade shortage in exchange for millions of dollars in Jobkeeper payments. Telling us,
“Look, back-scratching is a concept this litigant should understand. We are deeply sorry he has to disown his firstborn but we need a few simpletons to take one for the team. It’s all good though, he’ll earn twice as much as your average lawyer chump”
“It is what it is”, the school mused.
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