Concerns After Recreational BBQ’er Turns To Smoking It

Only a year ago, Rory’s friends & family knew him as a happy young man who loved nothing more than throwing a coupla snags on the BBQ on a warm sunny day. A true recreational meat griller. 

However, close friends started noticing changes in his behaviour once he started buying higher grade shit from artisan butchers. His mate, Sammy told us,

“Looking back on it, there were red flags. He couldn’t get the same high from an honest sausage sizzle as the rest of us could. He started spending big on these fancy fkn sausages. He always needed more and more to get that same satisfying feeling from BBQ”

His partner also felt concerned after she caught Rory spending $150 on meat for a simple Sunday arvo park session,

“At the time, he assured me he had it under control. It was just the occasional meat bender. It’s not like none of us enjoyed it. We all enjoyed it. Looking back the praise we gave probably enabled him”

However, it was the purchase of a Green Egg that turn Rory’s slow meander to addiction into a hellish freefall with no parachute in sight. His mate Greg told us,

“He was splashing hundreds every weekend on quality proteiny gear – marbled wagyu, grass-fed brisket, acorn-fed pork, you name it he needed it. He’d go on crazy binges – 8 hours, 12 hours, hell he even tried to pull off a 24-hour smoking session. He kept pushing it man”

Rory’s funds dwindled and he forgot what it was like to sleep on the weekends. He’d cancel social obligations because he couldn’t bear to be away from that quality smoke billowing from his chamber of succulence.

When he wasn’t smoking at home, he’d be fiendishly following BBQ trucks around Perth. Waiting hours to get his fix. Surrounded by other addicts who had lost themselves chasing the charred dragon. 

His whole world came crashing down after his misso came home early from work to find that Rory had taken a day off and fist deep in a bird he’d sourced from a private farm. Rory screamed for her not to look at him but it was too late. 

She confronted him right there and then. She’d had enough, their dwindling savings account, his bender induced mood swings, espeically when he farked up another leg of pork and mostly, the god awful stench emitting from his meathole on account of not touching a vegetable in 2 years.

Rory is now in low ‘n slow anonymous and is learning to deal with his meat addiction. He says he’s learning to keep a lid on the green egg of addiction and at the same time learning a ton of new recipies for when he’s “better”.

He’ll never be better.

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?