Docker’s Fan Petitions AFL To Ban Wet Weather Footy

 Diehard Docker’s fan, Bruce, started a petition calling for the official ban of wet weather footy during halftime of last week’s clash against the Suns. 

The petition has already attracted over 10,000 signatures most of which flooded in within the first 15 minutes of circulating the call for change. 

This afternoon, he managed to accumulate thousands of extra signatures as Freo was unable to keep up with the Pies in a 36 point loss. Which, according to Bruce, is 110% the fault of the farcical practice of making teams play in the rain. 

Gesturing to his son to cover his Flagmantle tatt, Bruce told The Times,

“No one wants it. It’s scrappy and terrible for spectators at the game – and most importantly I have 4 non refundable tickets to Melbourne in September. Stop wet weather play before it ruins the game and my plans”

Bruce was still steaming over the result today as he launched into another tirade,

“I can’t just leave the stadium early. If someone likened me to an Eagles supporter I’d probably be spending a night locked up mate. It’s what I base my entire personality on”

In addition to the petition, Bruce has emailed the AFL on 8 different occasions this week asking them whether their eyes were painted on. He continued,

“Are they watching the same sloppy shit that I am? How can anyone think this is fair? Do you think I want to have to sell my GF tickets? About time the VFL thought about the Dockers for a change”

A spokesperson for the AFL sounded pained to talk about old mate Bruce, as they told The Times,

“*indistinctly mutters* christ this cunn… LOOK, it may not be the cleanest footy but it’s a part of our game and teams have to adapt. Do you know this lunatic has tried to get us to declare West Coast an illegal organisation?”

Nevertheless, Bruce maintains his stance and will be presenting his petition to the AFL in due course. 

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