Perth Teachers Thank Harry Styles For Giving Them A Day Off 

Teachers all over Perth have arrived at school today to the calming sight of completely empty classrooms given everyone under the age of 18 is currently lining up to get a good spot at the Harry Styles concert. 

Teachers will get to enjoy some peace & serenity today with angry emails from parents expected to be down by over 500%. We spoke to a teacher who told The Times,

“Say what you will about Harry but he’s an absolute kid magnet. I was expecting a few to skip class but every single student in the state? That’s just amazing. Cheers Harry I think I’l catch up on some marking before having a very long, wet lunch”

We spoke to a parent who let her daughters skip school for a lesson in UK pop stardom. She told The Times,

“You have to treat kids from time to time and my girls have been good. Don’t worry though, I’ll harass the school to demand catch up lessons for the time they missed today. Who said I couldn’t eat my cake and have it too?”

HBF has confirmed that the crowd forming at the park is a who’s who of the name & shame wall at Priceline. Telling The Times,

“I can only imagine how much Lipsmacker has been lifted from shelves all over the state in preparation for this. We can confirm that we have every child currently waiting in the hot sun”

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