English coworker lashes “Aussie spirit” after leaving meeting early and missing out on pastries 

It’s just not cricket, mate”, office pombag Greg mused as he reflected on all the flakey delights he forfeited when he decided to chuck a wobbly and leave the meeting early today. 

Normally, the brekkie treats are front & centre at the start of the meeting but due to some confusion down at the local cafe, the pastries arrived late. Having waited a bit, Greg figured they were dead-snacks and walked. A witness told The Times,

“As soon as he left the room the receptionist power walked in with the box. It was a glorious sight. It wasn’t until later that Greg saw us leave eating a second or third pastry that he cottoned on. He instantly appealed to our boss but it was ruled he was out of the room”

Greg’s Australian boss was unapologetic when addressing the issue with his inner sanctum. A witness at the pre-pastry debrief told The Times,

“Yeah, the chief was very clear. Pastries are for people attending the meeting. It’s all there in the rules. Greg got desperate and tried to claim he technically did attend the meeting. The chief told him to shut his face and sent him back to the pavilion, as it were”

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We spoke to Greg who was still fuming that he missed out. He told The Times,

“Typical bwoody Aussies!! Cheat, cheat, cheated me out of one of those chocolate ones. Pretty bwoody ordinary it’s just not in the spiwit of things, innit? If I had been wunning that meeting I would’ve made sure 4 or 5 of them were on my a bloke like me’s desk after”

One of Greg’s coworkers has laughed off the assertion that it’s the Aussies in the workplace that have the problem with spirit. Telling The Times,

“Does Greg tell you that he takes the newspaper into the toilet every morning to take a massive shit? Then dumps it back on the reception desk. You can smell it. How’s that for the spirit of the workplace?”

The atmosphere is understandably tense at the office. With no signs of the conflict simmering down. Stay tuned. 

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