PSA old boy, Liam, was blessed to spend his formative years holidaying on Rottnest Island and made quite the name for himself as one of Rotto’s most notorious bike “borrowers”.
Liam’s philosophy was simple, bikes are never “stolen” on Rotto they are shared. Naturally, the law took a contrary view, and after drunkenly sending an expensive Giant mountain bike off the jetty his reputation caught up with him.
Naturally, Liam’s folks were able to get him off the criminal damage charge but he decided that at the tender age of 26 his bike “borrowing” days on the island were over.
Fast forward 25 years and Liam is now a father of a couple of little rascals himself and it seems the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. We spoke to Liam who couldn’t wipe the grin off his face,
“My boys went off exploring on foot today and just before lunch I saw them coming up the road on a bike. I couldn’t believe it, he’d flogged his first unlocked bike from the General Store. Let’s just say the boy got extra crayfish that day”
So proud, Liam caught up with some family friends holidaying on the island and got his boy to tell them what he’d accomplished. It was met with a roaring private school applause.
A witness to the celebratory drinks told The Times that the table quickly became more of a confession room in a police station. Adding,
“They were all sharing stories of the bikes they stole growing up. This one guy was getting really excited and told everyone how he stole a bike to get to his first fingering at Pinkies. It was pretty disgusting but relatable”
Liam then showed off multiple scars that he’d suffered from riding a stolen bike pissed af on the island as a youth. Each scar told a story.
To make sure his boy understood the natural order of things, Liam advised him to ditch the bike against a post somewhere. Claiming that you should never return it as that disturbs the natural order of Rotto bike ownership.
It’s glad to see some things never change. Buy a bike lock people.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?
