G’day Keifo here. Before I made the big bucks I was just like you. A broke, whinging little appreno that has a sook every time I send him in to shout me another 4 pack of Devil’s Cut as compo for asking me dumbarse questions all day.
So until you’re a Midland-aire like me, I thought I’d share with ya how to earn a little extra coin on the side. If only to shut you up while I’m trying to enjoy me 5th can for the arvo.
Occ Health & Safety your way to wealth – roight you see that muppet over there with the grinder? He’s a total shitfabrains mate. He has no business operating that tool so do him and his insurance a favour by relieving him of it when he goes for a shit.
Wait until the heat simmers down and then flog the grinder off on Gumtree for an inflated price. Not only have you saved that dumbdog from severing a hand (probably) but you’ve made some coin. The perfect croime.
Get more from your cashies – it took my years to understand my true worth as a tradie but also a bloke. That’s why I add the dumbcunt tax of about 25% to each and every cashie I do now.
You wouldn’t believe how many people are just stoked you rocked up with cancelling on em 15 toimes ha ha. It’s a trades market so you’re really selling yourself sort if you don’t add on the tax.
Rub one out at work – you have any idea how much coin I’ve saved from just launching a yoghurt artillery assault against the back of the portaloo at lunch? Fucken thousands.
Leave that door looking like a painter’s overalls and there’s a 50% chance you won’t swing by the knock shop after the pub ya way home.
They should be paying me to do it anyway, what I leave on the portaloo door is about the only decent genetics on site. You should see these pelicans I have to deal with.
Hang out with a concreter or scaffie at smoko – let’s face it, buying a feed every day seriously adds up. So all you gotta do is ask to have some of the granno or scaffie’s glass-lunch.
Ha ha, only thing you’ll be chewing on his your face. Then you can use that money you would’ve spent on Roota tropicana packs on some extra froffs to help take the edge off at the end of the day.
Crypto – I used to think the only thing the young blokes on site were good for was to bully as an expressive outlet for me own emotional trauma mate. Or whatever that tool of a psych told me after me last brush with the law ha ha.
Turns out they know about crypto. Yous just gotta be patient orroight? None of us have made shit yet but it’ll be any day now I reckon.
Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Keifo a beer, ay?
