HR manager Liz has taken a 20-minute break from her reign of terror over the staff at a Perth consultancy firm to herd everyone into a room to whisper insincere nothings to each other over a sausage roll or two.
As per the company’s RUOK Day policy protocols, she systematically went around the room demanding an answer to whether they are OK or not and then feigning interest in their response.
An employee who has had 3 requests for a salary review denied told The Times,
“Yeah, every other day of the year this woman is pretty much the main source of my anxiety & self-loathing. Nice to get a free sandwich triangle today though, I guess”
We spoke to another employee who was still getting over the stress of being pressured into a stupid amazing race on a team-building day. She told The Times,
“Am I OK? She made me hug a random stranger and then participate in a flash mob. You have no idea what that feels like for an introvert like me”
However, according to Liz and the report she submitted to the directors after the morning tea it was a “success”. Adding,
“I was able to identify key indicators of employee satisfaction. No one delved deep into their hurt locker and offered an intimate insight into their personal struggles. So I’d say we have the happiest workforce in Perth”
After the excruciating ordeal, Liz announced to the group that in the next few days every employee will attend a mandatory one-on-one with her to discuss the outcomes of this mental health initiative. A witness told The Times,
“Just for some context, this is the woman who tried to deny my request for annual leave for my wedding & honeymoon. I got it in 6 months early and she still made me have a meeting with directors about it. She literally is my mental health problems”
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