Woolworths has listened to customer feedback and agree that when it comes to the consumer experience, the security gates leave a shopper wanting.
Wanting what exactly? Well, Woolworths say shoppers want the peace of mind that anyone their AI systems detect as potentially trying to pass off some produce as brown onions will receive an electric shock that will stupefy them until authorities arrive.
We spoke to an industry insider who said Woolies actually got the idea from a farmer they are squeezing to the point of bankrupcty, adding,
“Yeah, they visited a livestock yard and saw the electric fence. They asked the farmer if the livestock really feared the shock and he said yes and they said, isn’t that funny because we view our customers as cash cattle of sorts”
The electrified gates will roll out this month and Woolworths wants to assure people that if they’ve done nothing wrong they probably shouldn’t have anything to fear. Key word probably, as one insider explained,
“You know how AI systems are. They are going to get it wrong but that’s ok because the end goal is Woolworths profit and everyone can get behind that. Will there be some collateral damage? Sure, but maybe a decent jolt is what a pensioner needs to remind themselves life is precious”
We asked Woolworths if the money being spent on electricity to keep these gates going could be better spent just lowering prices so people didn’t feel the need to steal as much.
We were unable to hear the answer due to the amount of laughing. Sigh.
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