It’s 2001 and you’re about to make a big mistake…

Picture it, you picked up 3 for $10 deal from Liquorland and are currently trying to finish the 3rd bottle in a mate’s backyard because the taxi could be any minute now.

When you hear the beep you send 500ml of original Passion Pop down your gullet and carry on like a goose without a pond in the Maxi. You’d spend the entire night in there if you could.

You arrive outside Clubba and while waiting in line you unleash the full fury of your 3fa deal on your Tarocash shoes. You bolt before the seccys can get a lock on who blew the chunks.

Your night hangs in the balance and would be over if it wasn’t for an emergency hotdog from the Claremont hotdog man, Screamer Steamer. You’re back baby and ain’t nothing stopping you making that carpet just a bit stickier.

To celebrate your second chance at the night you decide to spend all the money you made that week working your casual job at Jay Jays on Jagerbombs.

They go down as well as can be expected and within about half an hour you were pretty sure you have spotted Pav and assorted other Freo Dockers. Then again it could literally be any young greek lad, you wouldn’t know, you’re an absolute mess.

After flailing around on the dancefloor like a backstroking giraffe you decide it’s time to call it a night and join the royal food rumble that is raging at Hungry Jacks.

You enter the fray and are immediately blindsided by a stray bacon deluxe. Alas it’s guerrilla warfare in there and the earlier passion pop has not gifted you with the skills needed to take evasive action.

You’re not proud of it but you sneak a quick bite to eat in off the floor. Hey, you’re no Golden Triangle trust funder, you can’t afford to be lobbing perfectly sloppy jacks.

It’s a slaughter and now the taxi man is demanding you pay $50 extra bucks for compensate him for the state you left his cab in. Not to worry, poorly fitted Tarocash shoes are great for a runner.

Covered in spew, HJs and needing emergency dental you finally end your night. You try to piece together what happened the next morning via your Nokia 3310’s sent items. Alas, you hadn’t cleared room and the memory was full. Damnit!

Thanks Passion Pop you are always there to help.

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?