Local Dave’s fresh start in Port Hedland soured by constant speculation about his ‘ole

Early in 2022, Perth Bobcat operator was tired of life in the big smoke and decided to make a sea change to sunny Port Hedland.

Life seemed to be improving for Dave until one fateful night at the pub. He introduced himself to a group of locals who swiftly announced that he had a “big ole”.

Initially, Dave laughed it off, given he was building a pool at his home but he said the taunts only got worse. He told The Times,

“You have to understand as a proud Bobcat operator I take great pride in my holes. I know for a fact the hole in my backyard is a perfect size and complies with all relevant legislation. So why was everyone constantly pointing out how big it was?”

Whenever he tried to get answers from locals he was just told “if you know you know” and they would repeat the jeer that his ‘ole was oversized. It brought Dave to the point of madness.

Weeks turned into months and Dave was left wandering the barren wasteland of Port Hedland looking for answers. No one had ever cast aspersions on his ole back in the big smoke so why now?

That was when he met a solitary man bringing a bouquet of flowers to a non-distinct wall in South Hedland. He figured it was a chance for two lost souls to connect so he approached. Dave told The Times,

“So I walk up to this bloke and asked him who he was remembering. He told me this was the site of a mighty cultural force in Hedland. It was the site of Perth’s Banksy original piece that put Hedland on the map, dave got a big ole”

From that moment, a huge weight was lifted from Dave’s shoulders. He wasn’t the bloke with an elephantine ole, he was part of the culture. He never felt like he fit into a town more.

Dave told The Times that he now wore the taunt as a badge of honour and even introduced himself as Big Ole on occasion. He had taken the insult back and wore it like a giant S on his chest.

That’s until building inspectors finally took a look at his backyard works that certainly didn’t go through the proper channels. On the day of his conviction, he told the waiting media,

“Typical, my big ole getting me into trouble!”

Oh, Dave!

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