Man banned from camping in Dwellingup after failing to cook up outlandish supernatural encounter yarn

The Town of Dwellingup has come down hard on a camper after he passed through the town on their way back from camping and offended the locals.

His crime? Heading to the local pub, getting some froffs in, and not claiming that he encountered some manner of supernatural being. An absolute faux pas in the town. We spoke to a local who told The Times,

“Who does he think he is? Where’s the conveniently vague story about all seeing a glimpse of an animal that couldn’t possibly be known to man yet? What about a giant cat story? He just said it was lovely and had a good night’s sleep”

Accordingly, a mob formed and advised the man to get out of town as soon as he could. Warning him that if he came back he’d be snatched up by a yowie. That they’ve all seen after a block of bush chook around a campfire.

We caught up with the camper who was pleading his case to the angry mob. He told The Times,

“I heard the growl of a kangaroo but I’ve heard that before seeing as I grew up in the country. My young feller asked me if it was some monster and I told him no it was a roo. I tried to tell these people that but they kept saying the growls out in Dwellingup don’t match any frequency of any known species. WTF are they on about?”

He also admitted to staying sober on the trip. Which may or may not have a lot to do with the fact he didn’t cook up any fantastical stories of supernatural encounters.

We spoke to a local woman who claims she has seen over 10 UFOs in the area and locked eyes with a woodarchie when she was 15. She told The Times,

“I asked him if he saw all the strange lights on the roads in and out of the camping spots. How they appear to hover over the road and then disappear. He told me that headlights can appear to do that from a distance and disappear when a car turns off or something. I almost bit his face!!!!”

The man has since taken his leave and promised not to return.

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