New parents thought all those festivals they attended would’ve prepared them better for functioning sleep-deprived

The parents of a reasonably fresh newborn admit they greatly overestimated how much their fiendish dedication to festivals such as Stereosonic, Origin, Breakfast, and Future Music prepared them for being able to function with severe sleep deprivation.

Needless to say, it has been a turbulent period with their new bundle of joy. Who has taken a particular shine to running an absolute pain train through their parent’s sleep schedule. Brett told The Times,

“Yeah, we joked that it was just going to be like working a double shift after being up all night at Stereos. Turns out not all sleep deprivation is the same and we are horribly old now. It’s like it was all for nothing!”

This is coming from a man who proudly boasts to his friends that he once stayed up for 48 hours one New Years period thanks to packing his shelf like he was working at Aldi.

Ashleigh has also got a bit of a reality check although luckily the pregnancy itself had given her a decent taste of sleep deprivation. She told The Times,

“I guess you could say pregnancy is a lot like a 2nd day comedown. Tired, cranky and sort of just drift through the day. So yeah, the last year has been like all the bad parts of going to a festival without any of the joy of pinging off my tidds on a dancefloor. Yay”

While they are no better at hauling their tired arses around they have utilised some important lessons from their festival days to help with the stress of it all.

Brett said that when he had to change the nappy he just mentally took himself back to those days when he had to force down a line in a portaloo overflowing with shit.

Similarly, Ashleigh has found bass-heavy house music and a light machine lulled her baby into somewhat of a trance – like mother, like daughter, it would seem.

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