Family That Moved To Margaret River 2 Months Ago Laying The Localism On A Bit Thick

Actual locals have been left disgusted by the carry-on of some new arrivals from Perth. The family decided they needed a sea change and moved to Margs at the end of May and they have wasted no time laying on the localism a bit thick. 

From snide comments towards Perth holidaymakers to impassioned rants on various community noticeboards the family really seems to think that they are different from those they complain about. We spoke to a man born in Margs who told The Times,

“I was waiting for my morning coffee and this tosser jangling around some 200 series keys came up to me and said it’d be so much better if we didn’t have to compete with all these blow-ins for our coffee. I wanted to grab him by his stones and drag him over to a mirror to have a hard look in”

Similarly, the matriarch of the family decided she’d earned the right to whinge about Perth visitors in a 400-word post on a FB noticeboard. A witness told The Times,

“She was banging on about how annoying the extra traffic was this time of year. Then she went on about how Perth people can’t park to save themselves. They moved here in May ffs”

We spoke to the husband who had just strapped on some brand spankin’ maxtrax to his fourby. He told The Times,

“I really reckon they should build a wall around our beloved Margaret River. Keep all the riff raff out. You have no idea what us locals have to tolerate and the town really should prioritise those who live here. I’m going to talk to my local member of parliament later this week to raise some concerns”

We understand the family hasn’t taken the hint. Even after a “fuckoff back to Perth” chant broke out while they were complaining about the tap water having fluoride in it at the pub. 

Simply put, they haven’t earned the right to appropriate batshit faux-hippie margs bullshit yet. They have to pay their dues. 

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