REPORT: The ATO Could Have At Least Bought You Dinner First

Many refund-hungry punters have been dealt a harsh reminder of that whole “low & middle income earner tax offset” that sadly was discontinued in 2022. As they gaze upon how much tax they had to pay this year they are asking, you could’ve at least bought us dinner first. 

Was it a predictable and knowable calculation? Sure. Did it still feel like a power tool-hammering with not a trace of lube? Also yes. 

As it turns out that people don’t like paying tax. We spoke to a casual worker who traditionally relied on the refund to get her through the lean winter months. She told The Times,

“Phwoar. I won’t even be able to get a nice new pair of shoes to wear to work. That I can’t claim back next year anyway. Yay. I feel like a nice hot meal before this shafting would have made the shit-sandwich go down a little better”

Another low-income office lackey said seeing his predicted tax refund sent his mind to dangerous places. With his spirit limping after an unceremonious rogering. Adding,

“I normally got around $1500. It was like Xmas. Almost two Rudd payments. Man, When I saw I was getting a few hundy back I started to think about risking it all on some dodgy deductions. They can suck my sack”

The ATO has denied it was a stingy lover. Saying that current economic climates meant they couldn’t possibly buy everyone affected by the lifting of the offset a nice courtesy meal. A spokesperson told The Times,

“The Government gave you some free electricity. That should shut you up. Please stop calling us and telling us that we’ve ruined your mid year Bali trip. Direct all grievances to the Government please. They are the ones who did it”

It’s really not hard to roll out a parmi scheme ATO. It’s really not. 

RELATED: How to get the most tax back from those ATO dogs

Documenting the Human Zoo is thirsty work, so if you enjoyed what you read how about buying Belle a beer, ay?

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