Millennial wearing Blink 182 Shirt on casual Friday feels alive for the first time in 17 years

It has been a whirlwind week for the 35-year-old former party animal. First, he hears that the band is getting back together and touring. Then he hears that the tour will include WA. THEN he finds an old Blink 182 shirt that *kinda* still fits him from his youth. 

Squeezing into his shirt and sucking in his gut for ¾ of the day, Jamie actually feels alive inside again. A feeling he last felt the day before Blink 182 disbanded so many years ago. He told The Times,

“I was pretty cool back in the day, man. I’d be moshing at BDO and shit. Then life kinda crushed me but not today, mate, not today. You seeing this shirt? Original merch”

It was undeniable that Jamie had a pep in his step. Talking at length with similarly aged staff about their love for the nostalgic pop-punk band. That’s until a younger member of staff piped in and said “yeah they are pretty cool”.

Armed with the swagger of a man who got several head nods on his way from the train this morning, Jamie decided to gatekeep the living shit out of this kid. A witness told The Times,

“OK then, finish this line, work sucks… *pauses intensely*… nup? Don’t know it? OK name 5 songs or, or, or, or better yet, name 1 album. You don’t know, you don’t know shit! Are they trending on TikTok or something? Never speak to me again”

It was a savage response from a man who was a little too high on nostalgic bliss. After composing himself he half-apologised for his intensity but refused to take back the general sentiment. 

One could say he has something to prove. Especially as the hardest he’s partied in the past decade has been at a Wiggles concert (read more HERE).

All staff in his office are warned that he will be extra peppery at after-work drinks today. With reports that he spent his lunch break pumping Blink tunes and getting half smashed in the pub. 

Calm down Jamie. 

Read all the latest WA headlines HERE.